I love yarn clubs. I would be a member of all of them if I could. But unfortunately my money growing trees have been an abysmal failure thus far, and I can’t join all the clubs I would like. Don’t get me wrong. I love yarn stores and yarn shopping. Picking up a skein and squishing it between my fingers is glorious and I can spend way too much time doing that. But there is something equally exciting about yarn clubs. It’s a treat to get something in the mail other than bills. It’s exciting to open a box and find a completely unknown skien of yarn waiting to be picked up and fondled and hopefully loved. The unknown is exciting and not frightening. And I am pretty darn sure that unlike whale watching, nothing in a box from a yarn company will make me faint. (Okay I didn’t completely faint. But only because my Father-in-Law can still move pretty fast and he caught me before I hit the bottom of the boat. That is as close to a whale’s eye as I ever want to be again. I’m still not sure how I didn’t pee myself.)
But here’s the problem. I have yarn. I have a lot of yarn. I have enough yarn to insulate a small house, which means I have a very well insulated apartment. I don’t have time to knit the yarn that I have, let alone knit everything that comes from a yarn club. I want to have that kind of time, but the whole working for a living thing is kind of important. It gives me a way to buy the yarn, and to pay for a place to keep it, if not always the time to knit with it. And yarn club patterns provide too many immediate distractions to the knitting that I already have on the needles. And there are many things on my needles already. My many, many needles.
I am a member of one club, the Smartass Knitters/World Domination Club, and I love it. And for now that is enough. I’ve even knit some of the patterns from the club. This is a huge accomplishment.
And until I figure out how to create my own Doppelgänger who can go to work and wipe noses and file paperwork I guess I’m a little stuck. But, I have faith in knitters. We are a highly creative, highly resourceful group and one day someone somewhere will figure out the solution to the problem. Until that day happens will keep trying to make the money tree. My Dad used to use crushed up egg shells as fertilizer. I haven’t tried that yet. That will be my next step. I’ll let you know how it turns out.